Closure

I've been very tempted to e-mail W again as I still don't feel I have closure on all of this so am typing here instead. I wake up in the mornings thinking about it still and wondering why he'd prefer a druggie lifestyle over spending time with someone who wanted to be with him and who had fun with him.

Another complication is that his ex girlfriend, on Facebook (and I know that she uses it), still has that she is in a relationship with him. He told his family and work colleagues about me so I don't think he thinks he's still going out with her but there's something weird going on there. She phoned when I was there visiting him for the weekend and he told me that she phones him as much now as she ever did when they were together.

I got really excited about this guy and we had such a lovely time when we were together. But I am now wondering how much of the time he was on drugs. I still don't think he was honest with me at the end and the way he finished it was cowardly. He was all over me when we were together, chatted away on the phone in the days afterwards and then went quiet until I finally phoned to find out what was going on. This whole experience has left me feeling very hurt. I have since apologised to him via e-mail for blowing up at him but I wish I'd remembered JADE and instead of trying to justify all the reasons he gave me for it not working, asked more questions instead.

He's posting me back something that I left at his and I hope he sends it soon so that all connection between us can be at an end. I'm constantly waiting for him to send it back and I want to move on.

When we out for a walk by the beach with my dog (and we'd been walking along with our arms wrapped around each other) we stopped to get some food.  He waited outside, sat at a table.  I turned to look at him and he looked really unhappy, like he didn't want to be there.  I felt awful, but then we walked home and laughed and joked, again with our arms wrapped around each other.  


What happened to change all of that?  Was it a coke comedown?