The ex girlfriend

I have deliberated over the ex girlfriend. On our first date, I asked what brought him to the dating website and he said that he'd split up with someone in December. I'd contacted him in mid-Jan so he must have put himself on there pretty quickly.

I looked a bit shocked and he said quickly 'it was a long time coming' and I wanted to believe him.

He did invite me to a family wedding and I know that his work colleagues knew about me so I don't think he thinks he is still with her. (Not long after meeting him, I went to Australia for 2 weeks to visit my brother. Then, when I got back, my mum was in hospital having caught bronchitis whilst having chemo so I couldn't see him for a couple of weeks. He then went very quiet on me. Which did upset me but I didn't know what to expect because I'm new to the dating game.)

He mentioned her occasionally but I think I mentioned my exes occasionally too. I do wonder why he's not asked her to take off the status though - 5 months on from when they are supposed to have broken up. I think he just avoids things. I have asked him about it in an e-mail but he's avoided answering the question and when he wanted to finish with me he just avoided me. He told me that it was a turbulent 2 year relationship that he finally broke off in December - but I know that turbulent relationships have a habit of dragging on and I wondered if him going cold on me was related to her in some way. He said not though.

It would be easier to believe that it was something to do with her or with the cocaine habit than anything I've done. I spent the weekend with him last time I saw him and we talked and laughed non-stop, so to go from that to him ignoring me, then finishing it was a bit of a shock. I still feel that there's something more going on that I know about.

One thing that did occur to me was that he said that I wouldn't like his friends (druggie mates, I think). And I remembered that saying - you can tell a lot about a man by the company he keeps.

The more I write, the more I am knocking him off his pedestal, which is very helpful.
 
I had no idea about all of this when we first met.