Did the addiction come first?

It does help to think that the addiction comes first. I've been really cut up about this one and I know I'll stop blaming myself if I can think it's the addiction getting in the way. I am NC now. He wanted to stay in touch but I said there's no point. He's hurt me too much.

Can addicts only being able to co-exist with addicts? I really need to believe that right now. I think his last two exes both took a lot of drugs with him. And I think he is weak, with low morals. He wrote on his dating profile that he wanted someone with a 'strong moral compass' but he dealt drugs all through university and cocaine demand is very destructive - not the act of someone who has strong morals. 


W said several times that he didn't do that much. And I'm sure he thinks he can give it up if he wants but his social life seems to revolve around it now. I am now wondering how many times he had snorted coke when he was with me. I wish I'd been more alert to it now. The guy I thought was so funny and interesting may have just been off his face on coke.

I did phone to break up with him a few days before he finished with me because I couldn't stand his hot and cold behaviour. One day he was all over me, the next ignoring my phone calls & text messages. He didn't answer though so I left a message saying that I wanted to talk to him. 4 days later he finished with me.